“WHO are you doing IT for YOU or THEM?”
Remember “it’s all for you” like Janet said, this post is going to be about realizing that a lifestyle change in the healthy and fitness direction is ultimately for you. This is going to get really personal, regarding the realization for me that my lifestyle or what I was doing to my body was all up to me and impacted me the most. For me I can recall being with my mom a lot I mean it was her my brother and I a lot on vacation somewhere, while pops was back home working on big corporate projects. Ive always been close with my mom partly because I remember her having a health scare that really freaked me out, and because she wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids and I could have killed her when she. On top of my own early hip health scares and stuff like that my parents felt the need to let me know how much they loved me and what they went through to have me. So why is all that important, well I’m getting to it firstly because of that early stuff I was damn near inseparable from my mother for a while unconsciously. So my mother being the Spelman Women she is wanted me to grow up to be independent or self sufficient and reliant on her. For a number of reasons i have come to this conclusion because of how much I love my mother but also by how she never coddled me unless it was during my acl tears or my cancer scare or etc she always left my choices up to me and never made me feel like it was going to affect her one way or the other. Why, because it’s been widely talked about in the black community of boys never growing into men but on a more real note the real problem is all children not growing up to make there own decisions or take responsibility for their actions and my mother didn’t want me to be some statistic. So when I showed an interest in something she let me go for it head first and made me stick with it because I would promise to try. be it surfing, hockey, rugby, lacrosse, martial arts, or whatever. All that being said she let me know that everything was up to me at the end of the day i was the only one who would really be affected by the things I did.
Now to flip the script a it, something I’ve noticed as a common theme in our society is a growing problem with moms making a fitness conscious or healthy lifestyle change and then getting crucified by social media or their family and they feel betrayed by the people that they see themselves changing for. The most common thing I hear is a mother of 2 saying I doing out to be around for my kids or I’m doing it to be healthier for my spouse, etc its always for an external source. Thats important to note, the crucifying starts with friends usually saying why aren’t you eating with us, or eat and sandwich, do this or do that you’re making us feel self conscious its a barrage from people you thought had you back. Then comes sometimes the family issues where people that have known you your whole life want to devalue what you’re doing as a phase, and in some extreme cases the kids and spouses will keep doing there own thing without supporting mom in here change. That’s the justification but I hate it personally, granted I’m not a mom but I have a head strong and bold women to look up to. Im the opposite in many cases to my mother many people are shocked I’m her son sometimes because of my quiet and observant ways versus her whole self in approach to the things she does. One thing I can say and draw as a plan of action for women or whoever is in this position is you have to be selfish with your health so you can be selfless in the ways you want or have agreed with above. You won’t be here with your kids if you’re not here or not healthy enough to chase your little ones. I have two parents who live this way, if my dad was making a change it was done and nobody was changing his mind when it came to his health he would take me on 3 mile runs everyday for a year. My mom started going Paleo and she made it clear that we could eat what we wanted but that she was preparing what she was eating and we could prepare what we were eating, that goes hand in hand with self sufficiency because me and my brother could cook at 10 and 9. So What has this got to do with anything I mean good for you folks I guess but I just don’t have that selfious gene, well thats all well in good buty until you make that choice to do this for you be it the 60×12 or going vegan paleo picking up crossfit or etc you’ll relapse sometime. Why because you’re not doing it for the right reason you’ve tricked yourself for the short term whether thats a week or 10 years you’re tricking yourself into think it for this external source but when the source breakdown or becomes less reliant as motivation your foundation will break up.
So do like Janet said and do “it all for you” ya dig. I remember bopping in the car seat to Janet with my mom as she sang this song. Why is this important, because my moms got pipes and this was on repeat on the ride to soccer practice or meeting my dad at work for Judo it was always a fun ride. And nothing you do will be FUN on your journey of change if you don’t do the things for yourself, because soccer practice was a workout time for my mom as she jogged the trail, similar to how Judo and TKD where the selfish healthy for pops and me. Because it was ALL FOR US are focus in those moments where ourselves and that’s the reason we succeeded in maintaining our lifestyles under high stress situations in our lives be it a blood clot, cancer scare, financial issues or whatever. So bump this Janet track right out what you want to change and set a plan on when you’re going dedicate time to yourself to accomplish this goal no matter what anyone else says.